Looking Back...

Looking back at 2008...

January

1. Opened the year with Countdown Party at my house... wee!!!

2. Leaders Retreat for 2008, very mong cha cha the direction (i remember), but it was great after that...

3. 16 Jan - Birth of Sarah, my cute lil' god daughter

4. 26 Jan - Biggest birthday celebration, 2 1/2 table full of people when I tot there were only 10 of us, but it was great! And my birthday present kena peechia the lobang by the salesgirl... Lynette went back to the shop to get a dress I wanted to buy, when I went back 1 day later when i finally decided to get the dress, the salesgirl say... "Oh ur friend bought it liao!" hahahhahaha!

February/ March/ April

1. Explosion of the swollen eye, happened every 2-3weeks... very rampant

2. Chris & Lyn left for Melbourne... (at that time i was quite decided on going away for a year in 09 to Hills, wah! Tma quite sad... hahaha!)

3. Baptism of Sarah (my right eye exploded much!)

4. Started to journey with my hospi girls, saw a lot of fruits and breakthroughs happening

Was an emotionally challenging season... very "why so downcast O my soul...", seemed as if I lost a few very important friends in my life, had to lay a lot of boundaries and a time of healing in friendships took place

May/ June/ July

1. Led worship again after a year break in May, had to lead worship at YI, started to serve more actively in worship again after a 2 year break.

2. Spent a lot of time praying and seeking God all over again... renewed my relationship with God, loads of revelation...

Started "Salvation History" at SPI with the other 3 lizards (Thelms, Grace, Cassie).

August/ September

1. Passion KL (the only time i got out of the country in 08, how can this be? OMG!)

Went through a short season of spiritual dryness, again, unresolved issues always never fail to come and bite u in the butt.. really!

2. Leo and Cass went off for their Sabbatical during the heat of preparing for Amplify in the City

3. Amplify in the City!!

WOW! i felt like i coordinated another YI! omg! cheong like nobody's business! But it really took my mind off the spiritual valley season and lifted me up a lot more... though physically and mentally demanding...

4. Went to watch Diana Krall's Concert with the F1 racing cars as the backup vocals
(grace and i were furiously mad! they changed the venue to fort canning ok! if they kept it at Keppel Bay, it would have been all great... thanks concert organisers!)

Mid Sept to Mid October

I took the entire month to rest, just rest...

recuperate... allow God to heal... ohmmmmm

Mid October - November

1. woke up from the "rest" and realise that my BBFF is fainting!!!
faster went to rescue her, sat down with her at Ma Maison (i remember)... omg!

YI Publicity, Worship Team, Amplify Fridays... here i come!

and i love u very much BBFF!!!

2. Oh yes! Wedding of the year!!! Cassilda finally "jia chu qu le"!
gathering of old friends... love it!

and it's always lovely singing for good friend's wedding, means a lot more to me... had a lot of fun with the music... woopieee!!

Survived "Salvation History" with the other 3 lizards (Thelms, Grace, Cassie).

December

mong cha cha, walked into YI... never prepare well enough spiritually, but at the same time, i remembered to guard against attacks, but kena attacked at the throat! wahhh... drank a lot of "ugly juice"! kong's favourite medicine, he calls it "shit juice", but i cannot say the word "shit" cos Cassilda say cannot say...

Nerve wrecking Sunsets & Hurricanes, sucked the life out of the kk and me... omg!
sleepless nights, changing directions every other day until the kk had to fly around the room with me... thanks for being part of the ride! haha!

And it's the first time ever the night before YI, i still haven't prepare finish for the Worship Sets.. kk also (he oscared and took mc)

walked through YI as if i woke up from a dream... i still didnt know what was going on.

(short spurt of "why so downcast O my soul" period, again, unresolved issues never never never fail to come and bite at you at the butt... )


Right now: 14 mins before 2009...


Daddy God Most High,

You are my life, my all and everything I live for. Thank You for an amazing year, thank you for the valleys, the mountains, the blessings, the pruning and favours. Thank You for a lovely earthly daddy, hilarious/irritating brother who never fails to get on my nerves, thank you for the friendships that were forged, deepened and strengthened and thank you for such a lovely Amplify. Filled with gratitude in my heart, I just wanna say "I love You Daddy God!"

Thank you for a fruitful 2008!

I pray for a great 2009 to come, draw closer as I continue to seek, follow and run after You. I pray for wisdom, strength, perseverance, confidence and boldness... to seek You deeper and share more of You to others, that I may proclaim Your praises and declare Your greatness to the ends of the earth.

Amen!

Proverbs

With closest custody, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life.

- Proverbs 4:23

string of parties

And the party begins...

24th Dec - Christmas @ Iggy's
25th Dec - Hosting my girly friends @ my place, 2pm-9pm
25th Dec - After Gal Friends leaves, Mahjong session Starts @9pm with Uncle Hoe, Antaeus, Flo, Chris, Lyn, Alvin, Charles Lim
26th Dec - Wake up, cook, Host Worship Team Thank You Party from 8pm onwards

SAY WOW! *do it with the 2 hands with 3 fingers and put it next to ur cheeks*

27th Dec - CSC Christmas Party (12 days of Christmas with Monkey & Worship Team)
27th Dec - rush to Charles & Ros place for Christmas Dinner
28th Dec - Birthday lunch for my brother, with Daddy

Rest 2 days

31st Dec - NYE Party!

Running forward...

When i look at my overwhelming circumstance and i go, "WAH! i cannot do this anymore!"

My Father in heaven will say, "Look to me! Don't be consumed by your circumstance."

And I will say, "My God, My God! I'm running this race all for You!"

Thanks for keeping me sane... I love You, Lord!

My God

My God, My God,


You make all things new...

You take sinners back...

You are my strength, my life, my all...

Don't turn Your face away from me, I'm running back to You...

Take me back.

Catch me if You can...

Don't challenge...

Don't try to run away...

He will catch you...

Cruising

Have you ever tried cruising in a song with God and never wanna wake up from it? And just wish you will do this forever?

Today's one of those days... funny as it may be, it happened at Spiritual Prep when I was leading worship... I just wished the song would go on and on and on... and never stop


Always

Did You rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might know Your majesty?
Is Your voice upon the wind?
Is everything I know marked by my Maker's fingerprints?

Breathe on me
Let me see Your face
Ever I will seek You

Cos all You are
is all I want
Always
Draw me close in Your arms
O God, I wanna be with You

Can I feel You in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have You captured me again?
Let the earth resound with praise
Can you hear as all creation lives to glorify one name?

Insomnia

it's 4.30am and i'm still wide awake!
gosh i've been having frequent insomnia these days... it's freaky!
i wonder if it's the daily caffeine intake or what?

Jesus! HELP! i need to sleeeeep!

God made emotions

Hey!

I realise something! I only post on the blog whenever I feel emo...
which means for the rest of the time when I don't post, it means I'm like not emoting...

which means the lesser I post, you can be assured I'm ok and not emoting..
WOW! what a huge discovery! hahahaha!

no lah, I will post happy things too... OMG ! i'm talking to myself!

Sweet Jesus Christ, my Sanity

I had a revelation.

"Sweet Jesus Christ, my sanity...."

There's so much power in this phrase... OMG!
Charlie Hall! you very smart leh!


No one else but Jesus, He keeps me sane...

wooooo... I feel so much better by just clinging to my Lord... Thank You Jesus!

Weeeeeeee.....!!!

God-Shaped hole

I have a God-Shaped hole in my heart nothing earthly can satisfy...

Struggle.

"You have created us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you."

Restless heart.


St Augustine, you are so wise...

Amplify in the City

My God is Crazy, so is my Dad

My God is already crazy enough, so is my earthly Daddy...

He called me in the afternoon and told me he's at Barang Barang sale, and he bought a chest of drawers for me without my permission. He said it's $400, very cheap! My dad is full of surprises, he's unpredictable, really. As unpredictable as the weather...

Ok then you pay for me lor, i didnt ask you to buy it! haha!

YAY! Praise the Lord!!! I've got a new bed coming on Tuesday and I have a new chest of drawers to hide the 10million things that's lying all around...

I love my crazy God and my crazy Dad... mind u, it runs in the family! I'm crazy too... haha! I'm beginning to love it all! OMG i dunno what i'm talking about!

Amplify in the City

"Whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

In the hustle and bustle of our lives, have we lost who we are? Have our lives lost the meaning and verve that they used to have?

Do you feel the need to get away from it all, to recharge and refocus but can't afford the time for a retreat?

Mark your calendars this September as Amplify Ministry brings our prayer meet to the city for one night! Come and join us as we embark on an initiative designed to awaken you to the reality of a living God and what He has in store for you.

All you need to do is come. Spread the word.

Date: 12 September 2008 (Friday)
Time: 7.45pm
Venue: NTUC Business Centre
Auditorium Level 7
1 Marina Boulevard

For direction: Look out for our volunteers at Raffles Place MRT from 7.15pm onwards!
Contact: Lydia (9060-6296) Florence (9753-4856)

James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.

I almost forgotten that I am running this race.

He never fails to keep pulling me back on track, I know that He will always pursue me no matter what and He still reigns over me.

Praise Him!

Down the Valley

Psalm 42

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.


I feel it coming back... once again

Headaches!

I've been having headaches very frequently these days... like strange! I've never had this problem all my life, but it's like OMG! I'm having headaches every other day these 2 weeks... my eyes are dry and I'm looking at the computer screen and ARGH... i'm not feeling very good...

I can't wait for my new bed to arrive! I think it will really help solve all my stiff neck, headache, swollen eye, backache, body ache problems!!!

*crossing my fingers

Love

Love is what God had put in my heart... And it's really strange how much I love the girls in Hospi Team, u have no idea how much I love them and I've never tried caring and loving for a friend like that before! I really can't explain it with words!

It was heart warming knowing they love me as much too... Funny but true, Lynn and I were affirming each other last nite, just how much we love one another. Love can be so pure... it's a great gift from God!

And I really wanna thank God for teaching me how it is to truly love people, through the girls. This is what God calls us to do, to love one another, and I really see it happening, so real in my life.

Thank You Jesus!

Seasons Change

I was talking to Joel today randomly about buying Hillsong Conference Tickets for 09, and i'm like gosh.. i dunno what my plans are, i really don't. I've got plans all the way to 2011 but guess what? I refuse to plan anymore, whenever i think ok it's all great! it's all good! God foils my plans...

So i've decided that I will just follow... be an obedient daughter of God and just follow, i won't plan anymore, the more I plan, the more i get confused by my beloved Father in heaven.

I'll just take one step at a time now...

Mood: Emo

Desert Song

I wept and I wept on hearing this song...
Brooke Fraser just does magic with her lyrics


This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When truimp is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll Stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

A letter from Sella

How amazing! I received a letter from Sella!

I came home, saw a Compassion envelope on my table, opened it and hoping it's not a random letter from the organisation... TADAH! it was Sella writing to me!

She said the fighting is over in Kenya and things are peaceful now... Praise God!

And I'm just super amused, she sent me her "report card"...
Term 1 : 219 out of 250
Term 2: 287 out of 300

Oh my gosh! She's good in Maths! like me! (Maths is one of my best subjects)
And her favourite colour is green! How cool is that?

And she wants to be a doctor when she grows up!

I'm happy, just happy she's writing to me to say she's doing good...

Praise God!

A Prayer for Sella

At Hillsong Conference last year, I signed up with Compassion and sponsored a Kenyan girl, her name is Sella.

I attended mass today and I sat beside this African girl, I think she's about Sella's age, and I thought about Sella. I haven't heard from her for about 5months? I'm quite worried actually. I don't know why... should I even be worried?

Anyway, it was quite funny. She was so fidgetive, she kept prancing up and down, elbowed me, accidentally kicked me... aiyor all over the place! I couldn't concentrate for a while. And each time she accidentally kicked or elbowed me, she would look at me sheepishly... and she kept staring at the henna on my hand! Oh i just got a henna on my right hand yesterday...

So it was time for the "Our Father"... So she stretched out her hands... and I stretched out mine...

She was looking at me.

I looked back at her.

And I held her hand.

She smiled back at me.

And I closed my eyes, felt this overwhelming sense of the Holy Spirit and prayed for her.

And for Sella.


Father Lord,

I pray this prayer of protection over Sella and her family. I don't know how she is now, but I trust that You are taking care of her. And I trust that You will meet her every need. Speak into her heart and keep her close to You, that she'll never lose faith and hope in You. I don't know if the situation in Kenya has improved, but I know You will take care of Your people. I ask for Your mercy over the nation.

I love her, and I know You love her even more.

Because You died for her.

Amen!

it's all about You, it's not about me

Just got back from Amp Fri, 1st session after YI... man! The room was packed! I feel a bit taken aback like wooooowww... These are the people we've been praying for to come! And now they're really coming!

And this is what I took home with me, "It's all about You, it's not about me."

I just have to make sure I take care of His business, it's not what I want, it's what He has intended for me to complete... really, I say that all the time but it has taken a whole new meaning for me.

I love God too much to disobey Him, put it this way.

Praise God!

Obedience all over again...

God is the love of my life... He really is!
At this point, I really just need to say that I love God so much... And I know He loves me back more intensely than I can ever imagine!

I just finished this conversation with Thelms, was just sharing with her about the whole randomness in me now... i feel random, i feel a lot of thoughts going through my mind, i feel like i really need to pray and just seek God...

And at one point, I was so glad that I have a friend like her to rant at and pour out all my feelings to! haha! praise the Lord!

And she reminded me that I needed to be obedient... yes obedience! it suddenly hit me again! that's what God wants of me! That is His will for me and I'm going to pray for the grace and strength to do what He called me to do...

Ok i'm done, i'm going to run into His loving arms now!


Good Bye World!


Oh and did I say YISS was just so filled with His presence? Like i still feel it now? He's been so faithful and I just can't help but stand in awe of Him! He's opened my eyes to a whole new perspective of who He really is and how great He is!

Acts 16:11-15

I opened my gmail yesterday and this unknown person, ok at least i don't recall myself knowing this person, sent me an email saying, "Hello Lydia! Today's reading mentions your name. God bless!"

I was like Ok, great... I can't even recall if I actually know you. And I didn't have the time to go read the reading of the day.

And today Thelma told me the same thing! She said, "oh well, it's a short mentioning of you in the book of Acts, but it didn't mentioned where Luke was though." HAHA! ok great! If you guys get the joke. So anywayz, it says:

Lydia's Conversion in Philippi

11From Troas we put out to sea and sailed straight for Samothrace, and the next day on to Neapolis. 12From there we traveled to Philippi, a Roman colony and the leading city of that district of Macedonia. And we stayed there several days.

13On the Sabbath we went outside the city gate to the river, where we expected to find a place of prayer. We sat down and began to speak to the women who had gathered there. 14One of those listening was a woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul's message. 15When she and the members of her household were baptized, she invited us to her home. "If you consider me a believer in the Lord," she said, "come and stay at my house." And she persuaded us.

I picked up Word Among Us to have a read at it:

Monday, 28th April 2008

In today’s first reading, Paul journeys to Europe, where he meets a businesswoman named Lydia. And what began as a normal day by the river turned into a life-changing spiritual encounter for Lydia and her family. Lydia, a Gentile, was already a worshipper of the God of the Jews, but God had plans for her to know his Son as well. Luke tells us that God opened Lydia’s heart to Paul’s preaching, and she became his first European convert to Christianity (Acts 16:14). From this point on, Lydia’s life would now be characterized by a loving, life-giving relationship with Jesus.

This is the very nature of conversion: God touches our hearts and makes us aware of his love, our sinfulness, and our need for his mercy. Such an awareness moves us to turn toward him so that he can begin a process of teaching and empowering us to embrace his goodness and reject the glamour of evil.

While the story of Lydia in Acts is short, we can be sure that it didn’t end where Luke leaves it. Lydia’s conversion not only prompted her to accept baptism; it also moved her to welcome Paul and his companions into her home. Such an act of generosity shows that “conversion urges expression in visible signs, gestures, and works of penance” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1430). It also shows that conversion is not just a one-time event but a lifelong process. It involves continually being open to God and bearing good fruit as we learn to cooperate with his Spirit.

As God continues to help us open our hearts to him, we are transformed bit by bit. The most important changes we experience do not come as a result of big, spectacular events but from the ordinary events of our day. We leave behind the marks of our old life as selfishness gives way to service, wasted time becomes opportunities for prayer, and the approval of God eclipses human praise. So let us keep the door of our hearts wide open to Jesus so we can be remolded into his beautiful image!

Happening!

And it reminded me of the time when I encountered this story from the bible, it was through a good friend of mine. I remember what she said to me. We sat down one day and she read this passage to me. And she said, "Look! It says Lydia was a worshipper of God!"

I went, "Oh great! I love worshipping the Lord and I love singing to God!"

And she continued, "And you know what? She invited Paul to stay at her house! And you know, Paul, he don't anyhow stay in people's house when he goes on his missions to spread the gospel one!"

I didn't get it. So i went, "Ah huh? So what does it mean?"

She said, "Babe! It means Lydia had such a great gift of hospitality that Paul couldn't reject her offer!"

And i went AHHHHH!!! Praise the Lord!

It's so profound how important/meaningful/prophetic a name is to a person. And I thank God that my parents gave such a wonderful name! I could so identify myself with the story.

So parents-to-be out there (not that many that I know of except my colleague, who's expecting a boy, she just got the results yesterday!), choose a prophetic name for your kid! Like really, it will speak a lot about them.

I love Jesus! Weeee......

C.S. Lewis Song

If i find in myself
Desires nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude
That I, I was not made for here

If the flesh that I fight
is at best only light and momentary
Then of course, I'll feel nude
When to where I'm destined I'm compared

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
As I wait for hope to come for me


Am I lost or just less found
On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way
is this a soul that stirs in me
is it breaking free, wanting to come alive

cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
As I wait for hope to come for me


For we
we are not long here
our time is but a breath
so we better breathe it

And I
I was made to live
I was made to love
I was made to know You

Hope is coming for me
Hope is coming for me
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming


Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
As I wait for hope to come for me


If there is nothing on this earth that can satisfy the desires of my heart, then I don't belong here...

Choices

Strangely... I thought i was faced with choices...
To realise that all I had to do was just to be myself... It's not so much of the choices I have to make in the first place...

Why have I become the person I'm not?
I knew i was in a mess, but I didn't realise it was this messy

Ok i need to undo this mess now... I'm gonna go to Jesus to seek help..

I need to say goodbye to the world for a while.


p/s: a good friend of mine told me today, "I don't think u're just walking around and not daring to launch and take off. U're sitting there, and don't even dare to get up and walk!"

OMG! so scary! he's being too honest... but it's good... honesty is good. That's what i need to hear now actually... haha!

10 things i discovered in 2007

10 things i discovered in 2007...

1. i'm actually quite emo

2. i'm not as strong as i thought i was

3. But i know i can find strength in God... and i found it

4. i actually don't really know much about myself

5. hence, by God revealing it to me, i'm got to know myself better

6. i actually don't know God very well

7. hence, by God revealing Himself to me, i got to know Him better

8. i belittled God... He showed me how great He was

9. what God revealed was only a small tiny fraction of His glory

10. hence, i know if He were to reveal His full glory, my weak heart won't be able to take it... i'll faint & die in joy... WOW that thumb really is the "to die is gain"

this and that, this or that

random thoughts:

have u ever wondered whether This or That is better?

and when u have to make a choice between This and That, u struggle with making that choice between the 2...

read a book on the train just now, i love travelling time!
it's the bestest time to have my quiet time with the Lord...

it doesn't take much effort to convince urself to believe what the world tells u, but it takes effort for us to purposely choose what is the right thought to think of.

so which do i choose?
i'd been choosing this... when i know at the back of my mind, the right track to take is that... that's where God is and that's where He wants to take me to... the path that's more difficult and requires more effort. out of convenience, i chose this.

it's difficult but i'll take the road less travelled... i choose that

10 things i wanna do in 2008

1. stop shopping (cut down i mean, oh & prob have a garage sale to sell my stuff =P)
2. stop taking cabs (take when bo bian)
3. stop eating expensive food (stop ordering excessively & think twice before i step into a restaurant)
4. Pass my driving?!??!?! IN JESUS' NAME!
5. finish reading the books i bought (all 12 of them, which means 1 a month)
6. read deeper into the Word
7. take 2 days leave & spend "God & Me" time at the beach
8. pick up Guitar AGAIN (the first song i wanna play: None But Jesus)
9. build, journey with & start cell within Hospi Team
10. see the final product of Eden Cafe

In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

and it shall be an amazing year...

i'm finally updating the blog... after 2 months!

it's been a dramatic Nov/Dec and i'm so glad i survived through 2007! Praise the Lord!
After all that drama, the December YISS and the 10,000 parties after, I'm done & all set to go into the new year!

it's been amazing, exciting, nerve-wrecking, a roller coaster ride, there were periods of disorientation, there was a regain of confidence, but above all that, i know God has been hiding me in His shadow... revealing Himself to me & revealing me to me in the process!

Though there were periods i have absolutely no idea what God was trying to do, but I trust He knows what He's doing! He's God!

I'm excited about 2008, since 2006...
I've been looking forward to 08 since a long time ago... and it's finally here!

I'm really excited to see the fruits that will bear this year, and i'm just gonna sit back and be a happy girl! happier than usual...

I love You, Jesus!!!